My girlfriend sent me a link to this
rather odd offering from Playmobil...
That's right. Playmobil has made a set depicting the romping grounds of authority crazed TSA employees. The set comes complete with a conveyor X-ray machine and metal detector. Everything a small child* needs to fantasize his afternoon away. Unfortunately points are lost due to the lack of accuracy. No trashcans full of water bottles? Whatever will employees fit over?
Despite this disheartening lack of detail Playmobil has attempted to raise appeal with the following description...
| The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight! |
With that kind of sharp talk they could release a set of figures and convince children the joys of waiting in line. The best part?
It's a mere $55. I shit you not. I never had Playmobil as a kid (Lego > all), and for how horribly overpriced this rubbish is, nor should any child. It's even too expensive to purchase as a gag gift. Hell, their
control tower set even costs less.
Looking past this travesty of a toy come the ever poignant Amazon user reviews. Here are a few of my favorite...
| Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it's a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor. I applaud the people who created this toy for finally being hip to our changing times. Little children need to be aware that not all smiling faces and uniforms are friendly. I noticed that my child is now more interested in current events. Just the other day he asked me why we had to forfeit so much of our liberties and personal freedoms and I had to answer "well, it's because the terrorists have already won". Yes, they have won. |
| I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. |
| When I bought this toy, I was looking forward to placing my minority-action figure through the metal detector, and then running the little script I prepared: "Excuse me sir, but you have been 'randomnly' selected for additional scans. Please let us take a sample from your shoe while the computer analyzes findings for any radioactive or biohazardous material".
|
Personal favorite:
| Quandary: Do you think that if I carried my child's Playmobil Checkpoint through an actual security checkpoint, I could travel through time? |
If you'd like to read more feel free to do so
here. Of course I can just save you the trouble by saying
blah blah civil liberties blah direction of the country blah blah blah no fly list blah delicious zebra cakes.
*Set intended for children aged 4-7. Younger children might choke on smaller parts and find sweet release, from this shitty gift, in death. Older children will hate you.
