http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/04/us/04school.html

Oh, lordy, lordy. Won't anyone please save the children from our evil, socialist dictator President and his speech on the importance of education?!

This is the new mental illness of the right, that Obama is going to hypnotize school children into being some sort of Lenin-worshipping communist puppets of the state. How? Why, by talking to them via TV broadcast about... here we go... the importance of staying in school!

Dun dun dunnnnn!

Oh, but it can't be that simple! I'm sure Hitler... er, I mean, Obama, has some sort of spiral wheel spinning in the background to lull the children to sleep as he whispers words of liberalism into their fresh, squishy young minds. Soon, they'll be thinking of evil things such as helping the environment and helping out their fellow man!

Why, they may even choose to become... community activists! Oh no!

So, I guess the whole birther movement sort of fell through the cracks. You know you're up shit's creek when even Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter think your right-wing ideas are too wacky. It's too bad Lou Dobbs doesn't even have the same sense those two do. Because the birther movement failed, this is their new thing. Obama is a brainwasher!

Come on, really, brainwashing? Didn't both Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush give speeches to children? Nobody demanded those to be screened for political content.

He's the President of the United States. He was elected by the majority of both popular votes and electoral college votes. Most of the government is now Democrats. So, as a whole, the country decided that the President's ideals were the correct ones. If he wants to talk to your kids, he can do it.

You want to pull your kid out of class that day, fine. But the kids are just going to fall asleep during the speech as they would from anyone in the government, anyway. You don't need to worry about Obama brainwashing your kid, he or she will be busy drawing stink lines on stick figure drawings of the unpopular student(s), anyway.

God forbid they learn the importance of education. They might start thinking for themselves next!

- Penguin Truth
(2009)