James Tynion IV

Batman & Robin Eternal #4 Review

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Axe me no more questions, tell me no more dies!

 

Someone's in the kitchen with Grayson, someone's in the kitchen I know-ow-ow, someone's in the kitchen with Grayson, landing a lot of blows! Who isn't in there, though? It's a regular kitchen nightmare in the fourth episode of DC's weekly Grayson extension, I mean Batman tale. Bruce is still addled, the Robin group battles, and an angry Steph taddles! It looks like Tim Drake has a secret allegience, Dick doesn't mind walking around in public with the Hypnos implant, Harper prefers Cass's company to Spoiler's (who wouldn't?), and Duke Thomas is now a somewhat relevant character! So activate your sleeper agent, it's time for me to snark about this issue.

 

Batman & Robin Eternal #3 Review

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Baby we were born to ruuuuun!

 

Jason's a knave, Harper  bleeds in the cave, and Bruce needs to be saved in this third issue in DC's new weekly Batman lackey party. I don't know what I have more difficulty believing, that the loser Jason Todd can even keep up with Cassandra Cain for a second or that Tim Drake can continue to be portrayed as the world's dumbest genius. But hey, in a world when you can't trust a cannibalistic spy, who can you trust? Steph coins the term "Batler", Cassie gets offered peanuts for info, Helena expositions, and Beacon Tower is just the worst place in Gotham for Bruce Wayne to be.

 

I usually get mine on J-List.

Batman& Robin Eternal #1 Review

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Not pictured: The actual current Robin

 

It's time to review Eternal 2, where Cassie debuts, does some badass kung-fu, and when things come unglued, shocking things ensue! It's DC's new weekly Batman saga, hot on the heels of Jim Gordon becoming Batman and Dick Grayson's spy career's growing complications. With Bruce Wayne out of action, Gotham's streets are defended by a group of costumed teens and young adults that the new Caped Crusader has no patience for, and the first Robin uncovers a startling secret his mentor had kept for him for years.

Batman Eternal #51 Review

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The villains are foul, Bruce loses his cowl, to Steph Harper scowls, someone's going to need a towel, and surprise! The man who's an owl! The penultimate issue of DC's weekly Batman event sees a lot of revelations, an overconfident C-lister, Selina asserting her power, Jim Gordon's return to form, and the villain anyone with two brain cells to rub together guessed it would be, turns up. With all the raw nerves exposed and Gotham crumbling and burning, can Batman and his team keep the city from becoming a mountain of ashes? Well, I'm guessing yes, but there's bound to be even more blood spilled before the end of this story!

 

Batman Eternal #50 Review

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The city's in flames, some villains are tamed, but one makes a claim, and is that C-lister to blame? DC's weekly Batman affair is coming to a conclusion, but where is the great mastermind to this master crime? Damn it, writers, stop faking out the readers with these non-revelations so late in the game! But it's a little easier to forgive the issue because when Batman hits his rogues again, he isn't fucking around. But unfortunately all this action is dulling his endurance, and by the time he arrives in Beacon Tower, even a worthless loser can take advantage. But can the man with the name of the 16th US President and third month of the year appear before the audience loses interest? Well, he'd damn well better, the owl bastard.

Batman Eternal #49 Review

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Blackgate erupts, Alfred shuts Hush up, Steph still disrupts, and this book's time is almost up, all in this action-packed, and yet revelation-deprived forty-ninth installment to DC's weekly Batman event. As the Bat family struggle with their various enemies, Stephanie rejects her father's "We can rule the galaxy together!" offer, Jason Bard races to get to Jim Gordon in time to save him, and Batman makes a flashy, dangerous entrance. Meanwhile, the guy from Gotham Spoilers is hemorrhaging over a lack of main villain reveal (I think he's ready to drop it by next week). Lincoln, Lincoln, I've been thinkin', readers' patience is a'shrinkin'! Are you dense? Are you 'tarded? The big reveal has long been charted!

 

Batman Eternal #48 Review

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Batman crash lands, Jason Bard takes a stand, things go as Hush planned, and beatings are at hand in this forty-eighth chapter of DC's weekly Batman scenic route. We discover that apparently all of the Bat Family's equipment can apparently be shut down from the Batcave, Blackgate's weekly prison riot has not inspired more rigorous security measures, Batman is the kind of guy who will leave a note on a dinged car, both Vicki and Stephanie are stupid, and Oswald Copplepot is friends with a diverse array of criminals. And, of course, we don't seem any closer to the "big reveal" that everybody already figured out a long time ago.

 

But hey, at least Cluemaster's returned! Because that's who we wanted to see again, Ripoff Riddler! Where's the Cavalier or Killer Moth when you need them?

 

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